What to Do If You're Being Stalked: Practical Steps and Where to Get Help

What counts as stalking?

Stalking is a pattern of unwanted, fixated behaviour that makes you feel afraid, distressed or unsafe. It can include:

• Repeated calls, messages or emails after you've asked them to stop.
• Following you, waiting outside your home or work, or turning up where you are.
• Monitoring you online or through your phone, car or accounts.
• Sending gifts, contacting your friends, family or employer.
• Damaging your property or threatening you or people close to you.

Stalkers are often ex-partners, but can also be acquaintances, colleagues or strangers. However it started, it is not your fault, and you don't have to wait for it to 'get bad enough' to seek help.

Trust your instincts

Many women second-guess themselves, worrying they're overreacting. If someone's behaviour is making you uneasy or afraid, that feeling matters. Stalking can escalate, especially when it involves an ex-partner, and early action gives you more options.

If you are ever in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.

Don't engage — and keep a log

It's natural to want to reason with them or tell them off, but any response can encourage further contact. If you've already told them clearly once to stop, many advisors suggest not replying at all.

Keep evidence of everything:

• A written log with date, time, location, what happened and any witnesses.
• Screenshots of messages, calls, emails and social media, showing dates and usernames.
• Photos of anything left for you or any damage.
• Saved voicemails and gifts (handle as little as possible).

Store copies somewhere safe that the stalker can't access. A clear record makes it much easier for police and courts to see the pattern.

Secure your phone and online life

Stalkers frequently use technology. Steps that help:

• Change passwords and turn on two-factor authentication, starting with email.
• Review location sharing, connected devices and 'find my' features.
• Tighten social media privacy and ask friends not to tag your location.
• Check your car and belongings for unfamiliar tracking devices.

If you suspect stalkerware on your phone, read our guide on phone tracking first — removing it can alert the person, so get specialist advice before you act.

Tell people and plan for safety

Let trusted friends, family, neighbours and your workplace know what's happening, and share a photo of the person if appropriate. Ask colleagues not to give out your schedule or location. Vary your routes and routines where you can, and keep your phone charged.

Specialist stalking or domestic-abuse services can help you assess risk and make a personalised safety plan. TrustFem's /help page lists hotlines by country. If the stalker is a current or former partner, remember that separation can be a particularly dangerous time. On this site you can use the Quick Exit button (press Esc twice), and you may want to clear your browsing history.

Reporting to police and protective orders

Stalking and harassment are crimes in many countries, though definitions differ by country and state. You can report to police and bring your log and evidence. Ask for a crime or incident reference number and the name of the officer.

You may also be able to apply for a protective order — sometimes called a restraining, stalking protection or non-harassment order — which legally bans the person from contacting or approaching you. Free legal aid services and domestic-abuse advocates can explain the process where you live. This is general information, not legal advice.